Why has society taught men these confusing double standards?

This is my story, not about being slut shamed, but just about gender roles and society and feminism and what not: For several years now I've been taking karate lessons, at first because my parents wanted me to learn how to defend myself, and then because it became my passion. It's not like I'm a violent person; in fact, that's a very misunderstood stereotype about martial artists. We strive for careful control so we know how to do a technique without hurting our partners during practice. Being a girl in karate is a definite rarity, and because of this, I get very agitated. Men have been taught throughout their lives that they shouldn't hit a girl, ever, while simultaneously being taught that losing to a female shows weakness, or that it threatens their masculinity. Most men and women have been taught that to touch another person at all is considered a sexual action. Remember cooties? So for these macho karate guys to get paired with me must be an extremely confusing experience for them, and a challenge for me. If we're sparring, should they go in for a punch? Try out a kick? No, they can't hit a girl. But if they don't, they'll be beaten by the weakling female. Their manliness is at stake. So they might choose to absolutely annihilate me, showing none of the control that our school seeks. Or maybe they’ll avoid me altogether, and do you know what a sparring match is without the fighting? Calm circling. Or, and this is the worst of all, they say out loud, “I’ll take it easy on you because you’re a girl.” Say we're practicing how to get out of various grabs or holds. So we grab onto each other’s wrists, shoulders, shirt-front, and practice different ways to escape. Sometimes we even throw our partners, safely of course, over our hip. Should they really grab a girl by the wrist? Can they really hold onto a female's shirt-front? How are they supposed to put a girl on their hip and throw her without being sexual, or without looking abusive? All the while, I’m striving to become a kickass person, and to even get my black belt. How am I supposed to practice when my partner is uncooperative? How are either of us supposed to become better martial artists if we refuse to collaborate? Why has society taught men these confusing double standards? Why have we been taught that mere physical contact is automatically sexual? And why do I constantly have to prove my qualification in order to be respected? Because a woman is supposed to be weak? Because she’s supposed to be small and afraid? No, I refuse to bow to those societal standards. I can throw a person to the ground in just as many ways as a man can. I can do just as many kicks, my punch is just as powerful, I bruise in the same way. So why am I perpetually justifying myself? Why does a man have to “take it easy” on me? We accomplish the same tasks. We learn the same techniques. Our minds share the same knowledge. And yet, we treat each other as though we’re irrevocably different. Both genders want to receive their black belt someday, and by rejecting society’s detrimental norms, we can easily become kickass people together. So why do we continue to separate ourselves with these social boundaries? - Olivia McGovern