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On December 26, 2014, I met this guy who I reconnected with from grade 8 and we had feelings for each other back then and gained them back. We kissed for the first time and it was like magic, like any first kiss would be like.. Over a month later, I noticed some changes in his personality. He started getting really controlling... when I wasn't with him he would text me 24/7 and ask where I was. If I didn't answer, he lost control and got really angry. Did I mention he had anger issues? Him: "Where are you? Who are you with? Why are you out? How did you get there? Why aren't you texting me back?" Like, I got that he was protecting me, but OVER protecting in a bad way. Weeks passed and he was at my house for a bit longer than normal... that's when he raped me and he got to the point where he was verbal abusing me. I was scared to continue this relationship, yet I was so attached to him and his charms. Later on in February of this year, I attempted to commit suicide because I felt there was nothing here for me anymore and nothing good was happening. I was broken and hurting inside and out. My parents found me and took me to ER. I spent the weekend there. Blood work, gross food, and sleeping all day... I loved that part. Weeks passed and I finally came out to my family, telling them what I was hiding: I was pregnant and had lost the child. I was afraid to get close to a guy again. I stopped dating and focused on ME. Months passed and it was April. I was doing better. Self-harm free for weeks and I was starting to slightly smile again. I met someone online that changed my life. We shared stories with each other and gained feelings. She was understanding. YES, SHE! We started dating on April 24th. We made each other happy as can be. She made me feel better as a person and that I am no longer attached to men, period... end of story. We are currently still together as of today, September 16, 2015. We are both in different countries, but we have made this long distance relationship work! I am so happy, I can be who I want and my family accepts me for who I am... no more hiding.
I've known about The UnSlut Project for a couple of years now and only recently decided to share my story. I guess I had to come to terms with it personally before I felt confident enough to let others know about my experiences with slut shaming and bullying. I do want to remain anonymous, though. My reputation in the eighth grade was that I was a pretentious, unlikable girl when really I was just shy and struggling with serious social anxiety and depression. When I got my first "real" boyfriend that year, I started to come out of my shell. While I did have a lot of friends, there was an equal number of girls who just didn't like me for one reason or another. I kept dating this boy on and off throughout the first couple years of high school, and during my sophomore year I got pregnant and my life snowballed. The day I found out I was pregnant, I decided to tell a couple of my friends in confidence about the news. I wasn't prepared to tell my parents yet. I was only sixteen - I could barely understand it myself, let alone know how to tell such devastating news to my mother. I never got the chance to tell her myself. I went to school the next day and rumors started swirling, which I quickly denied. I went to my boyfriend's house after school ended and on the drive home, my mother called me. Four girls, one of which I considered a good friend, had put a note on my porch that said "your slut daughter is preggo!" My mom asked me if it was true, I broke down and told her, and she walked away from me. Our relationship was in shambles for five months, at least until I found out that the baby I decided to keep was a girl. I found out I was pregnant in March of 2008, with only several months left of my sophomore year. That time period was a nightmare. Nearly all of my friends abandoned me because they simply couldn't understand what I was going through and how much I needed their support. The girls who didn't like me were even worse. They screamed "slut!" at me in the hallways, spread rumors that I got pregnant on purpose, and some even 'joked' that they would push me down a flight of stairs. I was the school pariah, the "dumb slut." My boyfriend, who attended a different high school at this point, faced no social repercussions, whereas my little sister was constantly asked what it was like to have a slutty knocked-up sister. The shame and torment I faced was so overwhelming that I completed my junior year via online schooling. Removing myself from the environment was the best decision I could make for myself at the time, allowing me to continue furthering my education while being able to stay home with my daughter, Addison, who was born in November of 2008. I went back to school for senior year and most of the bullying had subsided, but I was still known as "that girl with the baby." In retrospect, I don't regret anything. I made the right decision for me. I am now 22, a single mom, and a full-time student. The years following the birth of my daughter were filled with support from my family and I have made lifelong friends who accept me. But the awful, undeserved torment I received is unforgivable. I still have trouble trusting people and face the same social stigma of being a young mom. I hope that my daughter never has to feel the way I felt when I was a teenager - that having sex (and possibly facing an unplanned pregnancy) makes you a whore. There is no such thing.
In high school I had a huge, obvious crush on one of my teachers. One day, I happened to overhear other teachers gossiping and making mean comments about me (and not for the first - or last - time). A couple of years out of high school, I found out that the teacher I’d had a crush on was known by the faculty to sleep with students and had even gotten a girl pregnant. I was outraged that, knowing this man’s predatory nature, my teachers had slut-shamed me for my crush instead of reporting him.
I never got this sort of thing. Growing up, the worst I got was name calling because of my scoliosis. But, there were whispers of girls who shouldn’t be talked to, locker talk about this girl or that boy, a world I never knew. Even when my friend got pregnant in grade 9, it was not a world I knew. But now that I know it is there, I am going to tell my kids that they should talk when they are troubled, or if this kinda stuff is going around. (My friend who had the kid did use a condom, but it broke.)
My story starts when I was 28. As a child I was terrified of sex and losing my virginity. My family talked about sex like it was bad thing. All throughout my teenage years I was afraid to date. At 28, I met a man who I couldn't help but love. We got secretly engaged and almost married. My family met him and after 2 years of dating, I became pregnant. My family called me slut, whore and I had my baby at 29 weeks due to stress. My family made me marry him and it has ruined all my relationships with everyone in my family. I tried to commit suicide in 2015 because it hurt me that my own family would treat me like trash and call me a slut. I'm still not a part of family activities and they treat me like the black sheep.
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