Non-stop harassment from people you don't even know DOES affect you. You start to wonder if you even deserve a place in this world, when so many people attack you.

My name is Koriander. My pen name is Codename Sailor Earth. And I am not ashamed to be her. If you Google my maiden name, which was "Koriander Ake", you will likely see a page called "Encyclopedia Dramatica" and you will see a poorly photoshopped picture of a penis on my face. The trouble all started when I posted a video on YouTube, of a CGI girl dancing. I was using the software MikuMikuDance and I had edited a model someone sent me of Hatsune Miku. Since I love Miku and I love Hello Kitty, I re-dressed her in a Hello Kitty outfit, and did a three minute animation of her dancing. Two weeks later, I started getting death threats, because the model my friend had sent me, was made by some blogger named "Saboten". Never heard of Saboten before, but once the video was up, Saboten posted a hate blog against me, calling me an evil woman. Saboten played the victim card and encouraged his fans to shame me. After that, I started getting harassing and threatening emails from a 4th grade algebra teacher, calling himself "Damesukekun". He and his friends started posting all kinds of lies about me, and three times since 2010, Damesukekun has made fake copyright claims against my website and even photos of my face, claiming he had the right to my image. I had to fight a DMCA claim, because a total stranger is trying to claim a right to my face. Soon, Encyclopedia Dramatica had a hate shrine devoted to me, and members started trashing me everywhere, and they even went so far as to stalk my mom and brother. After that, they hacked my ODesk page, and posted my now deceased grandfather's home address as my own, claiming I posted this as my address, and that I deserve to die and be raped for the evil I am. I lost three job offers because potential employers Googled my name and saw the hate. One woman actually told me that if I'm this much of a "dirty slut" then maybe I deserve it and should hang myself. She was fired not long after this, but the damage was done. While this is going on, another group on Facebook found out I love wrestling, and found out I have friends who are pro wrestlers. Next thing I know, all of us are getting tagged in gay pornography photos. While reporting the pictures to Facebook, I got hacked, and two men posed as me, two via my account and a new account on Facebook, and one on DeviantArt, and the three men started tagging my entire family in pornography under my name, and then harassing my friends on the two websites. And yes, I've been slut-shamed also because of my addiction to video games. If I'm not a "slut" because I love Nintendo, then I'm called one for playing "the wrong game" or for enjoying playing a game that "TCH only REAL MEN like, NOT guuuurls" and yes, I've been called names I can't even type here, just because I'm pretty good at Street Fighter. Nothing quite like being called a "whore" by a 10 year old boy on XBOX Live.
Since 2010, I have had strangers harass me, slut shame me, post lies about me, and attack my family and friends. Each time, I have gone to FBI and Police officers, only to be told it's my fault, that I never deserved the right to post my name online, and I deserve and asked for what I got, despite the fact that the two states I lived in while this was going on ~ Kentucky and Indiana ~ actually do have decent laws against this level of harassment. Our laws are fine. But finding officers who will enforce them is a nightmare. Nothing like feeling slut shamed by both male and female officers, simply because they didn't want to help me, nor did they understand the internet. In 2013, I worked for a wrestling company here in Kentucky known as PWF. We had three bookers, all three of which never treated me as their equal, or even as what I was, the wife of the promoter, their boss. I was always put down, because I'm a woman, which automatically makes me a "whore" despite the fact that my husband is the only person I've ever gone to bed with.
On my wedding day, my now husband kept getting texts from his third booker, begging him to back out of marrying me, because I'm a ball and chain. After we were married, I had a falling out with that last booker, and he threatened to spread a rumor on Facebook that I had slept with five different wrestlers, three of which I have never met before, and the other two I only know on Facebook, just because we had a fight. Of the other two bookers? One posted a slander video against my husband and three other people who fired him, the other eventually backed off, when he realized I was no longer going to act as a free babysitter to his kids. While I have had wrestlers show me respect, and it isn't hard to find a few that appreciate a woman's advice, these three bookers felt that my plumbing made me inadequate as an adviser, or even as a friend. I've had people on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, DeviantArt and Tumblr try to tear me down and slut shame me. And yes, having non-stop harassment from people you don't even know DOES affect you. You start to wonder if you even deserve a place in this world, when so many people attack you. I'm not ashamed to tell you I've cried, I've screamed, and I am not at all afraid to tell you I thought of suicide before. But stopping me was the love of my now husband, at the time, "BFF" John, who made me see the value in living as myself, despite everyone's best efforts. My husband was originally my best friend on MySpace, and the first person, and many times only man, who really had my back each time I was hacked and doxxed. He stuck by me, even when his own friends wanted him to abandon me. And through his support, and the support of true friends and my mom, I realize that I never should have been worried about how the world will see me. The older I get, the more absurd this all seems to me, and the less the taunting bugs me. I can get angry at the comments, but I realize now that the people who slut shame really don't have lives. In fact, I pity them, for this is all the fame they can ever see. So let them tell lies. Let them slut-shame. These people can't amount to anything, so this hate is all they have to live for, and nothing more. So without another thought, I can say with pride, I am Koriander Bullard. I was once Koriander Ake. I am Codename Sailor Earth. And I am not ashamed to be her.