I was warned the judge was extremely disapproving of premarital sex.

When I was 22, I became friends with a dangerous man, JC. At the time, I was trying to escape an abusive relationship with a man I'll call SP that had gone on since high school. JC saw the vulnerable position I was in and how I was completely isolated without any support system. We were platonic for months until he pushed me to become sexually involved with him. The first time was not consensual since I was too intoxicated to resist or remember. I never intended to start sleeping with him. However, my abusive long-term partner, SP, had called me a slut so many years, I automatically blamed myself. I convinced myself JC and I must have romantic feelings for each other for the first incident to happen. This toxic new "friendship" with JC continued as I became increasingly aware that he is a dangerous felon with violent, jealous tendencies, even more vitriolic than SP. I would tell JC I no longer wanted to sleep with him but he would wear me down every time. I was afraid of both men and that, if either became enraged, someone was going to get hurt. Having been abused by SP for so long, I was completely isolated and saw nowhere to get help. Finally, after trying to back away slowly for months from both of these men, I told JC I was cutting off our physical involvement for good. That night, he sent SP a text message to incite a jealous rage. JC then took my phone and keys and hid them saying I wouldn't be safe leaving since SP would get me. JC knew if I left I'd have nowhere else to go. He then trapped me against my will for over 12 hours. In that time, he demanded sex over and over, dozens of times. As I refused, he became increasingly violent until I feared for my life. I had to stop resisting if I wanted to survive. JC then proceeded to rape me repeatedly as the night went on. I was too afraid to go to the police. I also blamed myself, that none of this would have happened if I wasn't a slut. SP finally left me alone and moved away. However, JC continues to stalk me, re-traumatizing me every time. I've received an official PTSD diagnosis and symptoms persist almost four years after the worst incident. Two summers ago, JC came to my professional school to become a patient as soon as I entered the clinical portion of my doctorate program. By then, the protective order laws had changed in my home state to allow someone to take one out against a previous romantic partner without having to share children or a residence with the person, and without having to press additional charges. Before I testified in court to get a protective order, I was warned the judge was extremely disapproving of premarital sex. The commonwealth attorney told the judge she believed me and was ready to prosecute for the abduction and rape. JC had an attorney who didn't even deny that the rape occurred. The attorney actually said, "Some may say rape is an injury, but he didn't actually hurt her." The judge was buying none of it and was on my side until JC brought a witness forward who said I "kind of had another boyfriend." At that point the judge said, "You put him in that situation. You can't really stop him if he wants to come to your school." He then dismissed the protection order, all because the judge agreed that I'm a slut, undeserving of any protection or sympathy. Now I'm about to become a licensed healthcare professional. Wherever I work will be public knowledge. All JC will have to do is search my name online to find me the next time. I have no confidence he wouldn't hurt me again. Regardless, the PTSD symptoms are a still a daily struggle, especially knowing I am still vulnerable.