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These experiences, shared by people of all genders and backgrounds, demonstrate how the issues of sexual assault, harassment, and "slut" shaming affect our lives. Use this collection to expand your understanding and share it with those who need to know they're not alone.
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SHARE YOUR STORY

I still have a hard time being close to my husband because of what one teenage boy did to me.

10/9/2019

 
Being just two years younger than you, so much of what you have to say resonates with me.  Although my true “sexual awakening” came a few years later than yours did I experienced much of what you did socially at that age (and older).  Part of the reason this blog means so much to me is because I (like most females) have seen so called “slut shaming” from every angle: I have been the victim, the perpetrator, and the silent victim.
The first incident I remember was a female friend that I remember as being “too friendly”… the first sexual contact I remember was from her in the third grade.  Looking back I realize that she was sexually abused by her step father, and wish that I had been able to say something, but even at that age I “knew” I should be ashamed by what was going on between us.
A year later I let a boy in my class touch me multiple times (usually because of threats of physical violence); this time I did tell my mother, and I remember that he was grounded for a weekend.  The only saving grace about that was my mother supported me and told me that I was right for coming forward.
I was called a slut in the 7th grade because I went on a walk with a boy that I didn’t even like and rumors were spread that I gave him a blow job or had sex with him (depending on who you asked).  Although he was wonderful about trying to tell people the truth, it was 2 years before I could live it down.
In the 9th grade I was raped by my boyfriend at the time and spent several years blaming myself.  I remember feeling so terrible afterward and not being able to tell anyone… believe it or not, for some reason, the worst part about it was that he broke up with me a few days later and told people that he would “never touch me” because I was so ugly.
I remember seeing girls bullied and called names, seeing a girl that was abused after drinking too much, and passing out, called a whore. I saw a girl that was shamed because she wasn’t afraid of being sexual (AT EIGHTEEN!), the girl who was shamed because she didn’t realize that the bra she was wearing showed through her shirt one time.
I called a girl a whore because my boyfriend tried to sleep with her. I was part of a group that ostracized two girls so badly that the only people they could rely on in the school was each other, then called them lesbians because they were so close.
Looking back, I hate it.  I hate more than anything what I did to other people.  I still, about a decade later, have a hard time being close to my husband, and any male for that matter, because of what one teenage boy did to me.  I wake up almost every morning thinking of the girls that I tormented, and watched tormented.  I don’t see them how they could be now.  I see flashes of two girls at 12 years old.  Another girl at 15, running away after my friends and I said something particularly awful.  A 16 year old crying in the locker room, while I lowered my eyes, not wanted to get involved.
I hope, if nothing else, your blog gets people involved.  What you are doing is amazing.  I have so much respect for what you are trying to accomplish.  Your blog is the first that has let me feel comfortable thinking about every aspect of the sexual bullying I have seen/experienced over the years.

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