I hate to say it, but in this story, I am the bully.

I am going to share my story of bullying with you. I hate to say it, but in this story, I am the bully. This story starts back in daycare. In daycare I became friends with a kid named L. We were both the same age and we played a lot together. We had a great time with each other until we drifted apart and I started hanging out with other kids. When I got into grade school, I went to an after school program run by the daycare I went to as a toddler. I didn't see A that much anymore, but I met M. M was another girl like me. At the start, M and I hated each other... and I mean HATED. There were seriously times when we talked about killing each other. It was bad. As time went on, M and I started to like each other more and more. M and I found out that we were really alike and we became fast friends. Around this time I started to develop a crush on my friend from daycare, L. I think it was in Grade 4 when I really started to have a crush on L. I would think about him a lot, and I finally got the courage to ask him out (with M by my side). L said yes, and I was so happy. My relationship with L lasted a whopping 1 day. He was my first boyfriend, so I got over him pretty easily. I ended up dating one more guy before I started having feelings about L again. Now, flash forward 2 years to grade 6. I was still best friends with M, and I was starting to become really good friends with L too. I had told basically all of my secrets to M, so she knew that I was obsessed with L. Then one day, L asked M out. I was pretty upset when I found out that M said yes. M didn't even like L yet she was going out with him. With time, I became accepting of M and L's relationship. I told myself excuses like "they'll break up soon" and whatnot, but they didn't. The pair was inseparable. This relationship was lasting a lot longer than I thought it would, they were dating since the start of Grade 6 and it was now the middle of Grade 7. I decided I would do something that I told myself I would never do. I tried to split them up. I started to try to split them up by telling M how she could do so much better or by telling her that L would look at me or grab for my hand walking home. It didn't work. M would just brush off all of the comments saying that he was joking around. When this didn't work, I started to go further. I started to say that L had tried to kiss me on a snow day or that he would flirt with me walking home. Now M started to notice. The thing is, M was pretty much the perfect girlfriend and would talk it out with L. Nothing seemed to work. Then I got an idea, an awful idea - I would start to target M. I was ruthless with my rumour spreading. I would tell L that M called him stupid, even that she never liked him (which was partially true - M had developed feelings for him by now). At this point, I should have just stopped and apologized. I should have turned away and admitted defeat, but I didn't. I kept on going even though I knew that they had both clued into my scheme. Again, nothing was working. So in a last ditch attempt, I told L that M liked one of his friends more than him. This time L payed attention. L ended up breaking up with M and I was pretty happy. (I know I'm an awful person, I have come to terms with it by now.) But, just like our relationship in Grade 4, that decision only lasted a day. I am thankful that me being a bully stopped by the end of the school year. I am now in Grade 8. M and L did eventually split up, and now M is with another guy in our class. I know that this may not seem like a horrible act to some, but you have to understand that M was going through others bullying her as well. When I - one of her friends - bullied her, that gave another crop of a-holes like me an excuse to bully her as well. The names that I called M sometimes still come up today, more than a year after the bullying stopped. I hope that my story both prevents others from bullying, as well as sheds light on why people bully. I would like to apologize to everyone who has been bullied in any way, I am thankful for those who were strong enough to withstand it, and I feel the pain of those that couldn't. Thank you. Sincerely, Moira