The UnSlut Project
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These experiences, shared by people of all genders and backgrounds, demonstrate how the issues of sexual assault, harassment, and "slut" shaming affect our lives. Use this collection to expand your understanding and share it with those who need to know they're not alone.
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I had decided to stop fighting it. I almost accepted the label they were putting on me. That I was a slut.

10/10/2019

 
My name is Ashley Hooper. I am 15 years old but my slut shame started when I was in middle school. In 6th grade I would constantly change from boyfriend to boyfriend just because I knew I could and that it wouldn't really matter, I mean, it was just 6th grade. But because of that I started hearing every now and then that people were calling me a slut. I didn't think much of it because I had a lot of friends backing me up. But, it really made an impression when my math teacher decided to start in on the "joke" too and made up a math problem about me. Calculating the number of new boyfriends I would have in 8 weeks. But again I just brushed it off and went on. In 7th grade, me and a bunch of my friends joined the track team. Not knowing at the time that one boy I was hoping to avoid my 7th grade year had joined the track team as well. He and I had never been on good terms. During one of our track meets he came up to me and stuck his hand down my shirt in front of everyone. I was so embarrassed. I immediately called my parents and told the track coaches. At that time I still had many friends backing me up. A lot of the other guys on the track team threatened to beat him up for me. In no way at all did I want or hope he would do that to me. I definitely didn't like it. But other people's thoughts remained the same. I was a slut to them. In 8th grade I started falling for the "bad boys." Liking the kind of guys that got drunk and smoked weed as part of their lifestyle. I became a bit envious of their life. Getting to do whatever they want, whenever they want. They influenced me and later that year I found myself at a party. It was two of my best girlfriends and I. All surrounded by quite a few other boys. Though most of them had been drinking and smoking weed, that was one thing I did not partake in. But when it was time for us to go home we let a boy drive us that was under the influence of alcohol and weed. I know it is only by God's grace that we did not get in any kind of wreck that night. News of the party spread quickly around the middle school and high school. Rumors were made up about my friends and me. Nothing we did or said could change their minds. They were sticking with what they heard. We were sluts. I lost a few friends that year.
My freshman year started out pretty good. I had started talking to this guy who was 2 years older than me. He was  very nice, my parents were fond of him and we got to hang out a lot. But for some reason, we didn't think just hanging out on the weekends with our families was enough. So I let him sneak over to my house a couple nights. That was when I lost my virginity. My parents eventually found out and we had to have a talk with my family and my boyfriends family. We stayed together for a while after that but he became very controlling of my life and we broke up just a few days before our 6 month anniversary. A while later I started hearing about all kinds of rumors. That another guy had been telling people that I gave him a blow job in a bathroom after school and that he was going to have sex with me, too. I got asked about it for 2 weeks before it finally became old news. Then I started getting texts from a guy that happened to be best friends with the guy who started the rumor. We met up at a basketball game one night and snuck off and got on a school bus behind the gym. I was a little nervous about being alone with him and was afraid we would get caught. But despite my feelings, I let him talk me into having sex with him right there. He had promised me that he would never spread things about me. But the very next day at school, it started. This time I had decided to stop fighting it. I gave everyone the satisfaction they wanted. I almost accepted the label they were putting on me. That I was a slut. I just went with it. It didn't take long for my parents to find out about that situation and they tried in every way to help guide me.
This year, my 10th grade year, I signed up for a teen living class where we learn about skills and things we can do to better our life. Our teacher had us make a map of our life and write down our "road blocks." So I included everything on mine. Even my sexual mistakes. The boy sitting beside me quickly turned my life into a joke. Up until this very day, he has been calling me a whore, a slut, and saying that I'm easy. He was texting me expecting me to give him blow jobs and do other sexual things with him. But because I had so accepted the label of a slut I didn't just say no. I would send mixed signals because I knew I didn't want to be a slut but I didn't think there was any way possible to change that so I didn't try. But the other night my mom read my text messages and read what had been said. She sent him a message telling him what could happen if he continued this. Today was the first day I saw him in that class since it happened and he never said a word. It almost felt kind of difficult for me to have to ignore him and maintain my distance, but I just kept reminding myself that it was best for me. I would much rather have to ignore someone than have to put up with being called those kind of degrading names. Because now I know that I am NOT a slut.
P.S. My mom watched your interview with Katie Couric and found your site for me. I admire how you were able to overcome what happened to you. You are an inspiration to me. It's nice to know that it is possible to stand up against what people are saying about you and use your experience to help someone else rather than harm yourself.

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