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These experiences are shared by people of all genders and backgrounds from all over the world. They demonstrate how the issues of sexual assault, harassment, and "slut" shaming affect many of our lives in deep, often dangerous ways. Use this collection to expand your understanding and share it with those who could benefit or gain insight from it.
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I got spit on, I had chocolate milk poured in my locker, my car was keyed and egged. Our house was toilet-papered. Someone even put a dead deer in our yard.

10/11/2019

 
When I was 12 I had more boys as friends than girls. I had two girl friends that I felt would always be a part of my life - we were always together. All of our mutual friends would always hang out together. I lived next to a river so we always had people out going fishing and my house was the "fun" house (my mom was like a mom to everyone). I went down to the river one day with a couple of guys out there. One said, "Hey, what's back there?" I replied, "A bunch of trees." He said, "Let's check it out." He was dating a friend so I didn't think anything of it until he "accidentally" tripped me and pulled my shirt up and started licking my chest. I said no and he shoved his hand down my pants. It hurt, it burned, it was horrible. As soon as he was done I went straight home and took a shower. I didn't tell my mom or anyone. Monday at school the "friend" he was dating had told everyone I had come onto her guy and not to leave your boyfriends around me since I was easy. That was my very first sexual encounter. I was told by her mom that I was a slut and that I could no longer be a friend of her daughters if I was that kind of example. No one even asked me what happened.
Three years later as a freshman I was dating a junior from another school. He pressured me for sex a lot. I was a virgin - he was not. I finally gave in two days before my 16th birthday. I hated it. It hurt, I felt so used and so low. I told my best friend and she was like, "You just now did it? I thought you did a long time ago." I was with him another two years after and he was extremely controlling and had several other girls he slept with but he told me that was how he knew I loved him - by sleeping with him. Once we broke up, one of his friends apologized to me. He said their group of friends told the guy I was with to stay with me until I "gave it up" and then he should dump me. He said he never thought it would be so bad for me. A month after we broke up, I joined the wrestling team. My mom told me I had "anger issues" and made me go to one counseling session that she sat in on. I answered questions the way they wanted not by telling the truth. I was told if the wrestling helped to keep it up and was started on an antidepressant to level my moods.
My neighbor, a senior that I'd known for ten years, also wrestled. My mom would make food for the team and he'd hang around after the rest left. On December 26, 2003 we were in my room talking and joking and watching movies we had gotten for Christmas. I fell asleep and woke up with him on me, one hand up my shorts and the other over my mouth. He told me he had wanted me for years and he knew I did, too. But I didn't. When I tried to shove him off he told me he'd hurt me and how embarrassed my mom would be if she found out how easy I was. The next day we had a wrestling tournament and when I got home I told my mom. She told me, "If it's true, tell your coach and leave the team." I did. No one believed me. I got spit on, I had chocolate milk poured in my locker, my car was keyed and egged. Our house was toilet-papered. Someone even put a dead deer in our yard. I cried all the time. I begged my mom to let me switch schools and she said no. He graduated that spring but no one ever let me forget it.
Just last week my mom asked in the car, "What ever happened to that boy that was our neighbor you had sex with?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. I almost threw up. And I said I don't know and I don't care. Anyway, I'm 27 now, married with two beautiful girls with my husband now. I'm terrified for them. I know how bad it was for me before social media and now I'm even more worried for them. I can just try to help other girls know it's not okay what happened, but you CAN get through it. Life gets better after high school. You can go to college and get to start over! Don't let them win! Don't respond with negativity, just ignore it. I know it's so hard but when they see no reaction they move on! Just remember you are beautiful no matter what and you are NOT alone.

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