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I fell for a boy two years older than me in my first year at a new school, and it was the stupidest thing to have confessed to him and be in a relationship with him. I knew we wouldn't last from the start, but I just held on to that hope... that false hope. Well, he had a reputation of being touchy when it came to being around girls, but he swore that he had changed. His studies weren't that good, but I told people that he's smart but just not when it comes to grades. (Again, I do not know why I did all this.) I was always taught to respect my own body, and I did. On one outing he had 'accidentally' hit my private part when I was wearing shorts, and I just said 'It's okay,' but still I mentally jotted that in my brain. He became possessive after I lost my first kiss to him; I couldn't talk to boys without him coming up to me and listening to our conversation, so I broke up with him on good terms. My friends had paired me up with him again, but we ended our relationship with an argument. He said hurtful things and I came to realise how stupid I was for even caring. He regretted what he said and told his friends about what happened. People started saying that I was so proud and boastful to be his girlfriend even when I wasn't even dating him, and the word spread to other teachers - teachers I don't even know. What eventually came out of this was a whole string of rumours, extra spread of the 'news' through teachers (yes, teachers), after-class talks with my English teacher about whether or not that 'bright and interesting student' within me was still present, even though my friends have noticed no change in me. I don't give two hoots about him now, but I'm just scared that my teachers would think badly of me. I cannot explain myself. I have no way out. It's ongoing and I'm scared. Note to the author: Since you submitted this account anonymously, I don't have your contact information. Please reach out to a parent or teacher (not one of the ones who is victimizing you) for help immediately. You are NOT alone, and there IS a way out of all this. You can overcome it, just like the women who have shared their stories here before you. Judging from your spelling of certain words, I am assuming you're in the UK. Please visit www.samaritans.org and check out the resources available to you.
I am always here to talk, as well. Love, Emily Comments are closed.
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