I became so worn down I began to believe her. That I was truly terrible, and a slut.

I was sexually assaulted at the age of 11 by a group of four boys in broad daylight, and it was witnessed by two “friends” who went on to slut shame me for what happened and then abandoned me. Recently, I was watching Angel with a “friend” I will be referring to as MH. At one point while we were watching the DVD she sneered and called the character Faith, “skanky.” I was immediately offended on behalf of the actress, who was just doing her job, and told my “friend” so. I didn’t know the term slut shaming at the time. I wish I had, as it probably would have made my life easier, but I was intelligent enough to know it was wrong. And I knew from experience the damage it could do. MH had always been a bit abusive, but it got worse after I went against her with this. Suddenly I was no longer able to have a sexual attraction to any actress (I’m bisexual) or like any type of sex scene without being attacked for it in one way, or another. She started calling me names, attacking my intelligence, telling me things like “you like skanky sex.” And I became so worn down I began to believe her. That I was truly terrible, and a slut. I constantly apologized for my sexuality, my beliefs, and trying to stand up for myself. Because of what MH did to me my PTSD that developed from what happened to me when I was 11 came back. Even more recently I had to stay at a hospital for ten days in inpatient because of how close I was to killing myself. I was placed in the trauma program to be treated for the major depressive disorder and PTSD from the pain I was in. I finished out the month after being released from that in partial hospitalization (still in the trauma program) and am doing better now (better able to handle the PTSD).