When I meet new people I’m worried that they have heard the wrong version of me and don’t want to get to know me.

I could say that I’ve slept with more guys than most of my friends have. It has never been because of insecurity or peer pressure, some of the times it was just about going with the situation, I was enjoying myself and felt like doing it. Some other times I really liked the boy and wanted to get sexually involved with him. By the time I was 18 I was blamed and named by a lot of people. I was considered an “easy girl” even though I’ve rejected a lot of boys who I didn’t like or just didn’t feel like “doing it” with them. Funny how these are the ones that keep trying to “get with me” and the ones that make up - and spread - rumours about me. At first I couldn’t see why boys and girls would not accept me, I wasn’t harming anybody, I’ve always put my friends first and never done anything I didn’t want to. I was very confident despite the rumours. It was hard to hear things about me especially from people I had never spoken to. My friends would say it was all about envy and I wanted to believe that, but deep inside I wasn’t as strong as I thought. I started questioning myself: “Am I a slut?” “No, I’m not.” “Why don’t they like me, then?” So I started to be insecure about myself, starting with my body. I struggled with bulimia and never told my parents or anybody about it. I was obsessed and that was killing me day by day. My sister had had anorexia and she caught me once and begged me to stop doing that cause she pretty much had screwed her life up by degrading herself and having stopped eating. That’s when it hit me. I was stronger than that; I loved my sister more than anything in the world and I didn’t want to be so selfish as to put her in so much pain by watching me repeat her mistakes. It just wasn’t fair for her and it wasn’t for me either. I deserved to be happy. I had to believe it really was about envy or about this “modern” and somehow hidden male supremacy thinking that this society has. I needed that. So I put that aside. Now I realise, even though people have stopped calling me a slut or spreading more rumours (that I’m aware of), I still am damaged because of them. I have to be super careful with what I tweet or publish on the media and what I say. Even with boys I have to repress myself as if I had to follow some societal rules to not be called a slut again. When I meet new people I’m worried that they have heard the wrong version of me and don’t want to get to know me. I have a boyfriend now, who didn’t care about the rumours because he knew how I was and how I am, so it doesn’t affect me as much as it could but, in case I was single, why should I contain myself from doing whatever I want to do if it doesn’t harm anyone? Why do girls have to go through bullying experiences because of their sexual decisions? Why do I have to think “this skirt is too short” to prevent people from judging me? This double- standard of society is really hurting a lot of girls around the world. I’m really glad there are people that want to help them and contribute to this project. You can count on me for this.