The most important thing that I want you to know is that you are not alone. I stand next to you in this battle.

I was sexually abused in my past, many years ago for many years. Yes, I knew the man who did it. My whole family did. Yes we went to the police, but nothing came of it because I waited too long to tell anyone about it. I suffered from a fruit basket of emotional ‘disorders’. I also overcame a fruit basket of emotional ‘disorders’. I was angry. I was sad. I was basically any emotion in the most extreme form, for months when I finally decided to face this. I  was forced to face it by an amazing teacher. He was the one who challenged me to tell my family and once I did my life changed forever. Not a single day has passed since I came out with the truth, that I have not been grateful about it. Granted, saying those words to my mother was the hardest thing I have had to do in my twenty one trips around the sun, but it is one of the happiest moments as well.

I have experienced victim blaming, first hand.

How can a person blame an elementary school child for being sexually abused? Were my skorts too short? Were my ankle socks too low? Or was it because I was as flat chested as any boy who was in the same grade as me? He called me crazy when I confronted him at the ripe age of 16. He told me I made it up, and again, called me crazy. Then he asked me if I wanted to talk to a pastor about it. A PASTOR. He told me God would forgive me for lying.

To this day I stand by my honesty, no matter the ridicule I have faced and may face. I have no idea how this blog post will be received, but I owe it to those who are in a worse situation than me, who still don’t know what their future will be like if they were to tell others about it. If you are in that position I can assure you of one thing, telling a person close to you, someone that you truly love, is the best way to get on a road to heal. I am not telling you to go straight to the police if that is a step you don’t feel that you can handle. Take this in doses that you can. The most important thing that I want you to know is that you are not alone. I stand next to you in this battle. I am there with you through every ache and pain, through all of the tears that you shed. You are not alone. You will never be alone.

Stay strong my fellow warrior. You are a survivor, celebrate in that.

-Lauren Smiley