It didn't stop until I left the school.

Sexual bullying and slut shaming can happen to anyone. During the middle of my college/university experience a little over twenty years ago, I somehow caught the attention of a sorority girl in one of my classes at a small private college. I was still socially awkward at that time, and her rather energetic nature and interest made me a little nervous. I blurted out, "Don't have an orgasm, now!" after a nerve-wracking conversation one day, which I realize now was totally inappropriate. But I was totally unprepared for the onslaught of revenge from her sorority sisters. I was sexually harassed repeatedly by e-mail, telephone, and even in person. This continued even when the campus police got involved. It didn't stop until I left the school. Thankfully, that experience didn't follow me to university, but, I remember walking across the street when a convertible pulled up and a young woman leaned out and said, "Yeah, baby. Shake it!" For some reason, that triggered memories of being mercilessly teased in middle school by boys that thought I wiggled my buttocks too much when I walked. Even though I doubt her comment was homophobic like theirs were, I still felt like an objectified piece of meat. I know that men in our society are encouraged to welcome sexual attention. Yet how can it be welcomed when it's unwanted and degrading? I think most guys know the difference, and no amount of swagger (or retaliatory insult) covers up the hurt. It's not cool, and it's not "studly". It's abusive. A quick thanks to my friends at the No More Shame Project/Trauma Recovery University, who've given me courage to heal from childhood abuse, including sexual abuse. Survivors can be vulnerable to this sort of bullying. Please use my real name; I've come far enough that I don't need to be ashamed anymore. - Jonathan Pratt