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People of all genders and backgrounds, from all over the world, have shared these experiences to demonstrate how the issues of sexual assault, harassment, and "slut" shaming affect our lives. Use this collection to expand your understanding and share it with those who need to know they're not alone.
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I'm still uncertain about sex and intimacy - waiting to be hurt, expecting it.

10/17/2019

 
I was born 30 years ago, at 26 wks. My parents were in shock, uncertain of what to do with a preemie & so exhausted. During my stay in the NICU that lasted a few months, my parents went to Florida, and apparently needed to get away from the stress. That's when the neglect began. As a toddler I was diagnosed with CP. I defied numerous odds, as I was not supposed to live. My father travelled a lot for work, & my mother was an alcoholic, stressed, & bulimic. She took her stress out on me - physically, emotionally, & eventually sexually... She believed I was helpless because of my CP, so she insisted on bathing me and taking care of all hygiene needs - until I was 19 & left the house for college. It was a consistent battle to escape her anger, wrath, & abuse. I'd been taking care of her, in her drunken state since I was young. I'd do all that I could to sneak a shower on my own. She always noticed though & that made things worse for me. I developed an eating disorder & began to self-harm, wanting to control SOMETHING of my own. There was no space to breathe. I was both suffocated & neglected (during her blackouts, lack of fresh food, etc.) for years. If things weren't exactly her way, there were major repercussions for me. I was exposed to porn & her sex with multiple partners. She strategically placed items & sex toys where I'd see them. As with many survivors, I was told to never say anything... That bathing me was normal, that I was dirty & could never clean myself as well as she could. I never told anyone about the abuse until I was in residential treatment for my ED during college. It had to be reported because of my CP & that things happened when I was a minor. She's never let me live that down. Ever. Years later, assault would continue, but from a female 'best friend'. Thankfully, I've been able to work through this over the years and am a therapist myself. I'm still uncertain about sex & intimacy - waiting to be hurt, expecting it. It's often crippling. I know this is something I'll be working through for the rest of my life, or at least it seems so.

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  • HOME
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  • SHARE YOUR STORY
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    • WATCH NOW
    • PURCHASE
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