I was so miserable, contemplating suicide numerous times. I started believing in the rumors and questioning myself.

I'm 16. I was slut-shamed not too long ago... nearly a year ago in 2012-2013, all because of an rumor. My ex-boyfriend "Corey" started it. Around the time I met Corey (in summer school) I was in an long distance relationship, but Corey wouldn't leave me alone about going out with him. When school started in October I finally caved in and went out him. At first it was okay... nothing bad. He was actually kind of sweet, until he started wanting to get sexually involved. I'd make up excuses, but he kept asking me to come by his house. After a while, I realized that's all he wanted from me, so I cut him off. I didn't do anything with him, but he told his friends I had sex with him and that I gave him a blow-job. At first some of his friends asked me if it was true and I said no. But who would they believe? A girl they think is a foreigner and doesn't know anything about America (I lived in the Bahamas for 7 years and came back to America in mid 2012) or their "homeboy" they've probably know from middle school. I thought nothing of it, but rumors slowly started going around. His friends started calling me "bitch," "slut," "ho," "lame," and so on and so forth. Some of them would be nice to me one day and mean the other. And this boy I liked, he bullied me the most. He literally would call me a slut or stupid or always try to belittle me every time we had class together. It had gotten so bad to the point I stopped going to school. But my home environment wasn't a fairytale... it was hectic. Home and school made me slowly lose my mind. I felt like I had no one to turn to, so like you, I wrote in my diary. I was so miserable, contemplating suicide numerous times. I started believing in the rumors and questioning myself. "Maybe I AM a slut." "I'm too nice to everyone." "I should be mean like all the other girls." Wishing this nightmare could be over. Months later in 2013, the slut-shaming subsided. The only one who was calling me a slut every now and again was the boy I liked. He started being nice to me though. I got into a new relationship with a guy named Dre, but I left my old school and went to another one. A friend of mine told me, "Oh Dre's friend said you two banged," which wasn't true either. I felt like he, too, was using me. So I cut him off as well. It just made so angry. They probably think I'm a bigger slut now. I'm still so traumatized by the situation. Every decision I make is based around it. What I wear, who I talk to, who I hang out with, what I say, what I do. I have flashbacks of it, too, which hurts. I wish I could forget it. It's basically robbed me of my happiness and freedom. But your diary and work makes me feel hopeful. This is seriously long, I'm so sorry for this, but I want to say thank you Emily, for sharing your story, for wanting to take action against slut-shaming. I don't feel so alone anymore.