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These experiences are shared by people of all genders and backgrounds from all over the world. They demonstrate how the issues of sexual assault, harassment, and "slut" shaming affect many of our lives in deep, often dangerous ways. Use this collection to expand your understanding and share it with those who could benefit or gain insight from it.
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SHARE YOUR STORY

I was being "slut" shamed for talking about "slut" shaming at an all girls school.

10/21/2019

 
The past two days I have felt belittled by peers because of my intolerance of "slut" shaming. I go to an all-girls Catholic school, which is very conservative. I am enrolled in a course called "Catholic ethics." In this course we talk about the pros and cons of many controversial subjects. The subjects we discuss include the death penalty, abortion, gender, sexuality, etc. Yesterday my teacher brought up the subject of glorifying abusive relationships, specifically she was talking about "50 Shades of Grey." Everyone in my class is a senior in high school and is 18 years old or will be turning 18 by the end of the year. Most people have either read the books or seen the movie. Recently a large amount of girls at my school got in a lot of trouble for going to a party called "CEOs and office hoes." Personally I was not in attendance. Although I didn't go many of my friends in my ethics class went and got in trouble by the school. My ethics teacher brought this party up in class and began to talk about how as young women we must love ourselves, and it does not look like we love ourselves when we dress as an "office hoe." She also began to speak about a girl who prostituted her body to pay for college and she didn't want it to happen to us. She also said something along the lines of, "If you go around having sex you don't love yourself." She also began to speak about how awful the party, "50 Shades of Grey," and meaningless sex was. Many of the girls in the class were not virgins, loved 50 Shades of Grey, or went to the party. The teacher's initial point about glorifying abusive relationships was valid, however other points were not okay. I am not a virgin, and I like "50 Shades of Grey," and when she spoke she made me feel ashamed of who I was and what I liked. I'm 18 years old and I have made my own decisions and she made me feel lesser than other people who waited to have sex. She made many girls in my class feel uncomfortable and ashamed because they attended the party even though they had fun. A lot of girls in the class began to feel ashamed for decisions they made that they previously didn't feel shame about (me included). After she spoke I shot my hand up and when I was called on I said something along the lines of, "'Slut' shaming is a real thing and just because you have sex doesn't mean you don't love your self. I'm sure many girls in this room feel ashamed because they went to that party and are not virgins. Even though they made decisions that you don't agree with, doesn't mean they are bad people." Then the teacher started to apologize and back track, talking about how "CEOs and office hoes" glorifies "50 Shades of Grey" and how people shouldn't strive for abusive relationships and how she wants us all to be safe. After she said this, many girls in my class spoke up and I felt personally attacked after I was vulnerable and shared my true opinion. I was told that I was in the wrong, I was offensive, the teacher did nothing wrong, "slut" shaming doesn't even apply, people make the decision to have sex and they have to deal with the repercussions of it, I was rude, and my personal favorite: "Why did you bring this up, it's not guys' fault for doing the things if we dress like office hoes." Reminder, this is an ALL GIRLS school. Young females reacted this way when another girl (me) brought up a prominent issue that all girls should be aware of. After we talked about that in class, girls began to talk outside of class and make statements along these lines: it's so slutty having sex, you shouldn't have casual sex, did you hear she got herpes from doing oral, she is such a dirty virgin, she doesn't even count as a virgin, only really slutty girls give head, ew I can't believe people think it's okay to have one night stands in high school. When I heard these things I felt awful, I started to cry and couldn't believe what was being said after I tried to stand up for what I believed in. I felt so ashamed for my beliefs and my actions until I realized that I was being "slut" shamed for talking about "slut" shaming at an all girls school. The irony of the situation has become so frustrating and it's come to the point where I can only talk about this with a few girls to avoid getting attacked. I think this needs to be addressed, I am afraid to say something again, and so many girls are so naive about the situation that it worries me. Education about "slut" shaming needs to become more clear and accessible to young women, and I want to help spread awareness about such an important issue. - Erin A.

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