A girl as great as the one I was with felt afraid to tell me about ONE prior sexual partner. This speaks volumes to the level of change this society still needs to make.

Today, I had a relationship of four or five months end. Thankfully, I am able to say we both ended it maturely, despite a few frowns and tears on my part. Despite what is a pretty drab day, I can look at it as I reflect with a sense of pride. Though I am still in college and have much to experience in life, I have learned so much about women over the past few years. A year or two ago, breakups like this would have been volatile. Name calling and slut shaming would have occurred, considering that is often the easiest place below the belt to hit. However, today actually felt more like an enlightenment rather than a depression because of the way we both conducted ourselves. As noted, I have had my history of slut shaming, as I'd expect any teenage boy or girl prior to this sudden and much needed movement to have grown out of. What I'd like to share is not any of those stories, but rather a little message about the girl I was with. To make a long story short, I believed she was a virgin for a few months before she revealed to me that she was not as we started getting deeper into our relationship. She felt afraid to tell me because she'd be viewed as a "slut." While the revelation did trip me up for an hour or two, it wasn't me being upset that my first time wouldn't be "our" first time. I was more upset over the fact that such a great girl with excellent character could feel so ashamed over having sex with someone she believed was worth it at the time. This is all rather sprawling and perhaps a bit of venting over a rough day, but I wanted to share that bit to show what needs to change. Sex is human and to be enjoyed equally by whatever gender. Sex has no reflection on your moral fiber and I was with a prime example of that. A girl as great as the one I was with felt afraid to tell me about ONE prior sexual partner. This speaks volumes to the level of change this society still needs to make. One, two, twelve, fifty, whatever... the numbers don't matter. Your happiness matters. Apologies for the stream of consciousness style. I'd just like to show the range of shame this society can bring down on the most unexpected people. Today, I learned about my own maturity and learned the fixes we need to make. What someone does with their body should only be their business and their choices. What matters is your love and respect for them as a person. Sex neither makes or breaks a person. Love them for who they are and don't let an unfair societal standard break that for you.